A guest blog by Hannah Sullivan
I chose aesthetic flat closure after my mastectomy. Through the lens of the camera, I have explored my and other women’s decisions to remain flat.
- I found my first breast lump at age 12.
- I had my first breast imaging at age 22.
- I had my breasts removed at age 42.
I don’t grieve the loss of my breasts. I don’t grieve the biopsies, lumpectomies, mammograms, ultrasounds, MRIs, follow-up appointments, or anxiety while waiting for the pathology reports. My first imaging of a suspicious mass was more than 20 years ago. I’d been carrying this weight for 20 damn years. My breasts are now gone and I’m relieved. Tits off. Good riddance. Return to sender (but in reality, they were sent for one last tour through the pathology lab. All findings were benign).
Why I Chose Aesthetic Flat Closure
I chose Aesthetic Flat Closure (AFC) with my preventative mastectomies. That means I have no plans for other reconstructive procedures. The choice around reconstruction is wildly personal, but I want to share more about my story.
There are several aesthetic options for people who get unilateral and bilateral mastectomies. Generally, surgeons offer reconstructive options that create a breast mound through multiple surgeries following a mastectomy.
Some surgeons may offer AFC as an additional option. However, the majority of our medical systems assume that people who get mastectomies will also get reconstruction. As such, it obligates women to undergo additional surgeries to appease the “norm”. There are also surgeons who refuse to offer any choice but breast mound reconstruction to their patients. These are the bodies of women who are undergoing significant medical trauma, and are then obligated to undergo even more because they are not given another choice…
But that’s not my story. I walked into the appointment with my surgeon knowing I wanted AFC and was met with respect, encouragement, and skill.
The short version of my decision is this:
- I wanted an end to the surgeries and body trauma.
- I find sensuality and femininity in other parts of my body.
- I am not obligated to undergo more medical trauma to appease the male gaze. Or to pacify the discomfort of someone who doesn’t like my body shape.
The Making of Breasts Not Included and Breasts Not Required
I recently produced two short films about being flat after mastectomies.
This project started 17 months ago when I stepped in front of director Seth Thompson’s camera to leave a journal entry about my upcoming surgery. It was two weeks before I was scheduled to have preventative mastectomies, and I trusted Seth to hold space for my vulnerability and the grief I needed to process. We didn’t know if or how we would use the footage, but it felt important to capture that moment.
11 months later, Seth and I returned to the camera— and this time I was joined by 7 amazing women to tell our mastectomy stories. It was an honor to share space with other flat women and to relate our journeys of going flat after mastectomies.
As the production team began editing the footage, two films emerged: the first, Breasts Not Included: A Mastectomy Story, is an autobiographical screendance film about my story. It explores and questions how we define beauty, femininity and strength. The second film, Breasts Not Required: Mastectomy Stories, is a documentary about 8 flat women. It embraces aesthetic flat closure as a safe and beautiful post-mastectomy reconstructive choice. The film also looks critically at the breast implant industry, breast implant illness, and the need for better-informed consent practices.
It’s been a remarkable privilege to work on these films— both in front of the camera and behind the scenes. I’m so thankful for the artistic and production team of Seth Thompson, Amy Wilson, Jeremy Verwys and Nate Bliton for their artistry, input, support and encouragement. It’s my hope that these films provide resources and images to support the decisions of those making choices about their bodies. And encourages health providers to expand the skillful options they can provide to patients.
Both films are now available to rent/buy HERE with both English and Spanish subtitles. For screening inquires and access to a look book, we can be reached at [email protected]!
About the author
Hannah Sullivan is an art-maker, social worker and marriage & family therapist and proud aesthetic flat closure advocate
